


Takaba Family Values

by ALPHAwolf



Series: Domestic Drabble [5]
Category: Addams Family - All Media Types, Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Comedy, Crossover, Domestic, Drabble, Drama, Family, M/M, Mile High Club, Misunderstandings, akisami, asami gets pranked, asami is a dumbass, drunken pillow talk, hjs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-02-26 21:30:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18725374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALPHAwolf/pseuds/ALPHAwolf
Summary: Asami has never lost his composure. He never let himself be made a fool.Then Akihito came along.+ Asami meets Akihito’s family.





	1. How the Mighty Fall (In Love)

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 title after the song ‘The Mighty Fall’ by Fall Out Boy  
> All the usual disclaimers, enjoy!

The taste of tar and nicotine danced over his tongue, a haze of grey slipping through his nose. It burned in the most addictive way as Asami let out a content sigh of relief.

Giving up smoking had been far harder than he had expected, and every now and then he found himself shamefully dipping into his secret supply, stashed at the back of his office drawer. Even Kirishima couldn’t know of his weakness or the man would surely see to it he had no access to the coffin nails. He couldn’t have that now, not with how ridiculously busy work had been as of late. None could see him begin to crack under the pressure of it all, he would never allow it. He had a reputation to uphold, especially with Liu Feilong in town on a business venture. It had all his associates on edge.

Asami rubbed his eyes and took another drag, jolting slightly when the door handle to his office twisted loudly. The door swung open before he could hide his shame, a horrified look crossing his face as a familiar voice rang through the room.

“Hey ‘Sami, I just-“ Akihito froze in his tracks, the smell hitting him before he spotted the fag glinting from between his partner’s fingers. The yakuza was still, like a child caught in the act, watching the expression on Akihito’s face shift from shock and despair to fury in a matter of seconds. 

 _Fuck_.

“You swore! You swore you’d stop!” He looked absolutely betrayed.

“Relax, it’s only an e-cigarette.” Asami defended, putting it out hurriedly. As he expected the other’s look didn’t change. He only stared at him in silent accusation, heartbreak written in his eyes.

“You promised.” He sounded so defeated as he whispered. “You lied to me.”

Asami couldn’t find any reply, watching speechless as his lover suddenly turned and left, shutting the door behind him. It made a deafening click as is closed, and the yakuza’s mouth was left dry and bitter.

His face fell into his hands with a groan, considering relighting his cigarette. The very thought brought Akihito’s betrayed expression back to the forefront of his mind, causing him to cringed slightly and reach for his whiskey instead.

It did little to wash his burning guilt away.

 

§ 

 

He arrived home later than usual that night, hesitating to open the door. It was locked, strangely enough, so he took out his keys and let himself in, tentatively stepping inside.

His father had once said something about fearing a wife’s wrath as the one most terrifying thing on God’s Earth. He had never thought he’d experienced such a thing, yet here he was tiptoeing into his own home.

The lights were all off. Akihito must have already gone to bed, unusual as it was. He was both relieved and disappointed, so used to his usual welcome.

He took off his coat and immediately went to check on the other, peaking his head into what he considered to be their room. His brows furrowed when he found it empty. The other must have been really mad at him to be sleeping in his own room, but as he came to the photographer’s bedroom he found the door half open and it, too, barren of life.

His heartbeat had increased somewhat, switching on the light as his eyes darted about frantically. Clothes and a few stray possessions were strewn about, as if someone had packed in a hurry. Sure enough after a quick look under the other’s bed he found his suitcase missing.

Panic sent his head whirling, searching frantically in his pockets for his phone and tapping the emergency call. His assistant didn’t even have time to speak when he picked up.

“Kirishima, where is Akihito?”

“ _I-I’m not sure Asami-sama, wait-_ “ He spoke frantically to someone back at the office, well aware of the panic in his bosses voice. “ _He went to Feilong-Sama’s hotel earlier this evening._ ” Asami hung up without delay and called the Baishe leader, each ring setting him further on edge. It was as if the other was deliberately testing him, waiting till the very last second to pick up.

“ _I wondered when you’d call._ ” The asshole’s smug voice was enough to make his jaw clench.

“Where is he?”

“ _Oh Akihito? Didn’t he tell you?_ ” He could only reply with silence. “ _I’m not surprised, he sounded quite distraught when I called and invited him over for tea_.”

“Where is he, Feilong?” He was becoming increasingly stressed, the grip on his phone dangerously tight. The other gave a long forlorn sigh.

“ _I did everything I could. I tried to convince him not to, but I’m afraid his mind was already set. You should have seen the heartbreak on his face. He had his bags packed and everything, I honestly thought he’d caught you cheating on him or something._ ”

“ _Fei-long_.” Asami warned through gritted teeth.

“ _He said he couldn’t do it anymore, that he needed a life of his own free of your influence_.” Asami held his breath. “ _He’s leaving for Romania to live with his parents. I’m sorry_.”

His phone almost slipped from his fingers, his heart dropping into his stomach. He couldn’t hear whatever else it was the other said, hanging up the phone with a lump in his throat.

Unable to stand there a second longer he sprung into action, grabbing his keys and running out the door towards the carpark as he redialed his PA.

“Kirishima! Find out what airport Akihito is at! I don’t care the cost just make sure his plane doesn’t leave the ground!”

“ _Hai Asami-sama._ ” The second he got into the car he backed out hurriedly, his assistant on speaker phone giving him every bit of information he could find as he raced onto the road. Thank God the traffic was light (or rather light for Tokyo at least). God knew how long it had been since Akihito left, he could have already been in the air!

“ _He’s at the International Airport in Tokyo, his plane leaves in twenty minutes but we can’t ground the plane. It’s a new independent airline, you don’t have any shares in the company._ ”

“Ground it!” He demanded, racing to the airport, setting off a multitude of speed cameras along the way.

“ _I’ve managed to postpone departure by getting you a ticket onboard but I could only bribe them into wait an extra fifteen minutes. An escort will meet you at the International Terminal and take you straight onto the plane as soon as you arrive, I’m sorry Asami-sama but it’s the best I could do_.”

“Dammit.” He groaned to himself and pressed down harder on the gas, swerving  through traffic with the most precision he could manage in his haste.

“ _Asami-sama, Liu Feilong-sama sent an urgent message._ ”

“What?” _Now what?!_

_“He is at the airport waiting for you.”_

“Why?” What could he possibly want now! He had no time for the Baishe and his whims!

“ _He neglected to say, Asami-sama.”_

Pushing the Chinaman to the back of his mind he sped around a corner towards the airport, narrowly missing a pedestrian.

He didn’t bother parking or even locking the Jaguar, pulling straight into a taxi bay and jumping out.

The escort Kirishima had arranged was waiting just inside the door, Feilong standing beside the group like the odd card in a pack. Asami payed him no heed, following the guards (who were speed walking far slower than he deemed appropriate for the situation) straight through security and a back door right onto the tarp.

“Which plane?” One of the men pointed to a small one across the clearing, a set of stairs leading up to the entrance. He sprinted straight towards it, forcing those behind him to follow at a brisk pace.

He ran straight up the steps and into the aircraft, startling the crew and a few passengers. After a frantic sweep of his eyes across the plane he spotted that familiar mess of blond, the young man’s eyes turning up to see what all the hubbub was about up front.

“Asami? What are you-?” He ran to the other’s seat, speaking frantically through his laboured breathing.

“I’m sorry! It will never happen again I swear on my life, I will never lie to you again but please, please don’t leave.”

The blond sat flabbergasted staring up at him as all the other passengers looked on. He couldn’t care less, done with being cold and composed. He didn’t care that Feilong was watching on as he humiliated himself and poured out his heart like never before. None of that mattered.

Akihito’s expression twisted into even further confusion.

“Um, you know I’m only leaving for two weeks right?”

Now was Asami’s turn to look confused. “I left a note on your dinner in the fridge, didn’t you see it?” He shook his head slightly, a feeling of foolishness rising up in his face. He was suddenly very aware of all the eyes on him.

Akihito’s soft laughter at the expression on his lover’s visage was like a breath of fresh air, relief washing over him.

“It’s my mother’s 60th tomorrow,” Akihito explained “I decided to surprise her last minute, that’s what I came to tell you this morning.” Asami nodded dumbly, still catching his breath. He cast a look back at Feilong, the man fighting an obvious amused grin.

 _That asshole_.

“I’m sorry sir,” an extremely brave flight attendant had approached him, speaking softly in her nervousness, “but we really need you to sit down so we can depart.” Asami looked down to the boy who was smiling fondly up at him.

“Wanna come meet my parents?” The blond offered, patting the empty seat beside him. He nodded mutely, sitting rather bashfully as the crew ushered Feilong off and readied to depart.

“You’re such a doofus sometimes.” Akihito chuckled as he did up his belt, the boy kissing the embarrassed yakuza on the cheek and linking their fingers together.

People were still conversing quietly about what had happened as the captain apologised for the delay and announced they would now be departing.

“So, Romania?” Asami finally managed to inquire after catching his breath.

“Yep, dad’s Romanian and mum’s Japanese. He came over for work and didn’t manage to convince her to go back with him till after he’d retired.” The older man nodded, a previously unconsidered thought striking him.

“So, are you actually a natural blond?”

“Of course! Have you ever seen me bleach it?”

“I figured you just went to a hairdresser or something when I’m not around.”

“You are such an idiot.” The other stated fondly, kissing him softly and resting against his arm.

“So am I forgiven?”

“No way in hell.” His lover replied with a honey-sweet smile.

 _Damn_.  


	2. 7 Miles High

The aircrafts engines hummed, Akihito’s gentle breathing as the sleeping blond rested against his arm strangely hypnotic. Asami found himself staring at his unconscious lover for some time, mapping the contours of his visage, the length of his lashes, and the shape of his lips. There was little else to do.

Not long after take off one of the flight attendants had informed him that his ticket was for a business class seat, and as there was literally no one else up there they had gladly allowed Akihito to change seats with him. It gave them a tiny bit of extra privacy at least, especially after his little ‘display’. Thankfully people had stopped staring at them some time ago, most asleep or thereabouts ten hours into their sixteen hour flight.

Unfortunately, being such a small craft, there was no way for passengers to make contact with those on land, something that had been irking Asami for hours. He was desperate to contact Kirishima and arrange for some clothes and other supplies to be sent to their final destination, wherever that was. Akihito hadn’t told him much before falling asleep, and what he had said certainly hadn’t been comforting.

“I should probably give you a little heads up about my family.” The young man had started after their complimentary drinks had arrived. 

“What?” Akihito had given him an uneasy look before quickly losing his nerve.

“They’re great!” He had laughed anxiously and chugged the entire of his champagne, a pit forming in Asami’s gut.

He had never met any of his lover’s parents. He didn’t even get along with his own, let alone other peoples. Thank God he’d put on one of his Armani suits that morning, so he could at least manage a half decent first impression.

Outside their window was pitch back, all the lights in the aircraft dimmed. Someone was snoring quietly nearby, the flight attendant’s all congregated at the back of the plane, probably relaxing as almost all their charges were unconscious. Personally he had never been able to sleep in vehicles, or anywhere someone could attack at any given moment, however unlikely it may have seemed.

His attention was quickly drawn by Akihito stirring against him, his nose twitching and face muscles tensing momentarily before his eyes groggily slipped open. He looked around in an unfocused fashion before he smiled adorably up at Asami, still not entirely awake.

“Hey.” He couldn’t help letting his lips twitch upwards slightly down at the little menace. “How many hours left?” Asami diligently checked his watch.

“Six.”

“Mmm.” Akihito snuggled back up against him, appearing as though he was going to fall right back to sleep, and he probably would have if Asami hadn’t begun mouthing his neck and trailing his hand up his thigh.

“Asami!” The blond whispered aggressively, swatting his hand away.

“Relax, everyone’s asleep.” The quiet words tickled his ear, the other’s tongue lavishing his nape.

“Are you insane-!?” The yakuza quickly silenced him with his lips, slowly coaxing the other into a heated kiss. Akihito’s sleep addled mind gave little defence, the blonde’s hands slipping around the back of his neck in no time and trailing his fingers through his hair. They quickly tightened up and pulled the other back a little when his lover’s hands dipped between his legs and began massaging his privates.

“Don’t even-!” He was once again interrupted rudely by Asami’s sexual vigour, the bastard’s lips bearing down on him as he kneaded his growing need with determination. Quickly his fly was unzipped and the other’s large hand slipped into his underwear.

Aki squirmed in protest and tore himself away.

“We’ll make a mess!” He hissed, his eyes darting around in a panicked fashion as he sat, visibly flustered.

“Shhhhh~” The next kiss was softer, right on the soft spot under his jaw, before silently trailing up to his lips. Akihito struggled to regulate his breathing as not to give them away, the stubborn old man evidently refusing to let up.

He gently fondled the other’s erection and smiled against him as the tiniest sound slipped out, Akihito immediately pulling back and covering his own mouth.

Grinning like a wolf ready to feast Asami pulled the other closer and returned to mouthing his neck as he got the other to his full length. He briefly retreated to reach for the other’s jacket, laying it out over both their crotches to both preserve themselves in case someone were to pass and contain the coming mess.

Akihito was past arguing, tilting his hips as close as he could to the other in their current positions and reaching for his partner’s belt.

Foreheads resting together they both caressed one another as quietly as possible, Asami’s second hand slipping around to dip into the back of his pants and gently rub around his puckering entrance.

Akihito visibly tensed in an effort to keep himself silent, his hole tightening under Asami’s touch. He squeezed his fist around the other and began pumping violently in reply. Asami watched enraptured as Akihito bit his lip, exhales hissing quietly through his teeth. His face was scrunched up tight one second then completely relaxed the next, trying so desperately to keep his breathing quiet.

Only slightly sadistic, Asami began harassing the tip of his cock and pressing into his opening, watching gleefully as Akihito’s mouth fell open before he took a very sharp breath in. He glared right into the others eyes, responding in kind by pumping faster.

By now it had become a game, one the blond couldn’t hope to win. Still, he was determined, putting all his strength into tugging the other, rubbing his balls, and fingering his leaking cock. Asami now had that strange, aroused look on his face. It was almost angry looking, his eyes thin and eyebrows drawn together as he fought to keep face.

Still painfully aware of the enclosed, public setting Akihito didn’t care too much for keeping himself from reaching climax as soon as possible, only getting the other off at the same time, or at least thereabouts. When the feeling hit he rode it out, biting his tongue and tightening around the other as he spilled. He didn’t even register his partner orgasming into his hand, far too preoccupied with his own headiness.

The two sat with their heads together, panting as quietly as possible as they regained their strength. Akihito looked as exhausted as when he had awakened, bonelessly allowing the other to clean then up with his jacket and get them back into a fully clothed state.

“Asshole, I liked that jacket.” The blond complained as he balled up and shoved it into the boys bay

“I’ll get you a new one.” He promised, placing a light kiss on the tired mans head and trailing his fingers through his hair as he pretended to fall back asleep (no doubt to avoid another attack). He let him rest, silently musing over how he would once again delight in the other upon their return home, properly. He’d considered purchasing a private jet for some time, and now he had more than ample motivation.

Next time he’d make sure even heaven could hear his lover’s cries.


	3. Blood Ties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The trivia book said Aki could speak fluent English so all words spoken in English shall henceforth be italicized :)

They arrived in Romania stiff and groggy after the 16hr flight.

Whilst Akihito collected his suitcase Asami went outside to finally call Kirishima, informing him he would be taking the week off and required clothes, which he would text him the delivery address for as soon as he knew. He also asked him to arrange the purchase of a jet and hire a Romanian pilot who would be willing to work at short notice.

On his way back he bought them both a coffee, thankful he knew Russian and it was a common enough language that the barista did too. Akihito liked his with milk and that ridiculously sweet syrup, but he grabbed a few extra packets of sugar for him just in case, knowing his lover’s deathly sweet tooth.

When he returned Akihito was waiting for him with his luggage, looking around anxiously for the other. He smiled in relief when he spotted him, gratefully taking the coffee he was offered.

“There you are! Had me worried for a second.” He sipped the drink before immediately grabbing the extra sugars. “Thanks!”

He took Asami’s hand ( _that was new_ ) and promptly lead him back outside. The blond immediately spotted who he was searching for, grinning at a black car parked nearby with a giant of a man standing beside it.

“ _Lurch_!” Akihito greeted, throwing his arms around the pale sullen man in a huge hug. The man, who looked rather more like a creature made of old bits of people sewn together, smiled but didn’t speak, and Asami was rather certain he must have been slow.

“ _This is Ryuichi Asami._ ” Asami’s eyes widened as he learnt Akihito could speak perfect English. “Asami, this is Lurch.” Lurch nodded to him in leu of a hello before opening the car door for them. He followed Akihito into the back seat, Lurch shutting the door behind them before taking his place in front and starting the engine.

“You know English?” Asami questioned, Having not known Akihito was bilingual.

“Yeah, a lot of my family don’t know Japanese.” He replied flippantly, leaving Asami rather glad he knew the language or he’d have been left unable to speak for himself. He’d never been more grateful his parents had forced him to learn so many languages as a child.

“And what is your relation to ‘Lurch?” He asked, eyeing the driver cautiously.

“Honestly? I have no idea.” Asami furrowed his brows, finding the blond to be surprisingly tight lipped about this entire endeavour. It certainly didn’t bode well, considering how chatty he usually was.

It was a two hour drive to Bistrita, Akihito rather noticeably anxious and fidgety throughout the drive. Perhaps caffeine and sugar hadn’t been the best decision.

Rather than making their way into the city they drove towards the outskirts, along the far less lively countryside.

When they arrived the gate threw itself open, and the house to greet them was nothing like Asami could have dreamed. For loss of all other words it was rather... grim, and surprisingly large.

“Akihito, are your parent’s wealthy?”

“Nah, but my grandparents are pretty rich.” He explained, the car stopping out the front of two large double doors. Lurch opened their car door and Akihito thanked him, Leading Asami up to the large entrance.

He didn’t even have to knock, the door creaking open to reveal four ghostly figures draped in black.

“ _Akihito_!” They all smiled, their arms spread wide in invitation. Akihito returned the greeting in kind, hugging each and receiving a big kiss on the cheek.

“ _What a wonderful surprise!_ ” A white middle aged man, who must have been Akihito’s father, cried happily.

“ _I told you he would not resist the call._ ” The tallest, a slender older woman spoke to the only one of dark complexion among the four. She must have been Akihito’s mother, despite her dead straight black hair.

They were nothing like he’d expected, the women dressed in tight black dresses and the men in dark suits, all sun deprived with ebony hair.

“ _Mum, dad, grandma, grandpa- this is Ryuichi Asami._ ” The blond, who stuck out like a sore thumb among them all, introduced.

“ _My sincerest apologies for arriving unannounced._ ” Asami began, giving them a charming smile.

“ _Not at all dear._ ” The tallest woman, probably his grandmother, assured.

“ _A pleasure to meet you!_ ” Akihito’s father greeted, looking as though he was about to take his hand but instead wrapping his arms around him. Asami’s eyes widened as he was tightly embraced, staring at Akihito in shock. The blond gave him an apologetic smile.

“ _This is the first time Akihito has brought someone special home to meet the clan._ ” The older man, who must have been his grandfather, added. “ _You are more than welcome, my boy!_ ” He slapped him kindly on the back, leading them inside.

The two women walked with unfathomable grace, seeming to float along. He was still in bewilderment at how... loud and happy the group were, despite their gothic appearance. They were certainly nothing like he’d been picturing the last eighteen hours.

“ _It’s been too long my darling, your sense of fashion has become rather... unsophisticated._ ” Akihito rolled his eyes at his mother’s words.

“ _Mum_ -”

“ _Not to worry, all your clothes are still upstairs in your room._ ” His grandmother assured.

“ _I think the raven ruffled silk and midnight slacks should do well for tonight._ ”  

“ _Oh yes, and the brouge boots._ ” Asami watched as the other was dragged up the stairs by both women, the blond staring back at him begging to be saved.

“ _Haha! It’s wonderful to have Akihito home!”_ His father laughed, turning to greet the newcomer properly _._ “ _Takaba, Pubert Takaba, and this is my father, Gomez Addams. Shall we?_ ” Asami followed the two into a set of double doors and into a library living area. They all sat on seperate sofa chairs, the two men staring at him in a rather unnerving manner.

“ _Mr Takaba_ , _I assume you took your wives last name?_ ” Asami asked, attempting to start some kind of conversation.

“ _Indeed!_ ” He replied, picking up a hookah from the table beside him and taking a drag. He held the pipe out to Asami, who tentatively accepted. Though he was slightly, dare he say fearful, of what would happen if Akihito caught him, he didn’t dare refuse something the other’s father offered.

“ _So, tell me my boy, what do you do?”_ Gomez asked as Asami breathed in what he had expected to be tobacco smoke, but turned out to be _cannabis_.

“ _I’m a businessman_.” He replied, breathing out the unfamiliar haze as naturally as he could.

“ _Really? What kind?_ ” Pubert asked curiously.

“ _I own several nightclubs_.”

“ _Ahhhhh, a ‘businessman’!_ ” Gomez and his father both laughed heartily, giving one another knowing looks. Well, they were certainly smarter than they seemed, although definitely mad, especially considering how fine they seemed with him being a crime lord.

“ _I understand you’re a photographer?_ ” Asami continued, passing the pipe over to Gomez.

“ _Ahhh I was, back when I was young. That was how I met Yoru, my beloved wife._ ” He looked off wistfully with a lovestruck sigh. “ _I went to Japan on exchange in my youth, and once we met I couldn’t bare to leave, not until I finally convinced her to come home with me. Akihito was well into his teen’s by then_.”

“ _And this is your home?_ ”

“ _This is the family home.”_ Gomez explained. _“We moved it from America a few decades ago, along with the Addams cemetery._ ” He wasn’t quite sure exactly what he meant by that. His english must not have been as good as he’d thought. “ _My darling Mortitia’s mother insisted upon the move after several bad visions._ ”

“ _Akihito’s great grandmother is still alive?_ ” And evidently a drug addict, if these two were anything to go by.

“ _Oh yes, she sleeps during the day now though._ ” Pubert said passing him back the hookah. “ _Tell me, do you prefur to go by Ryuichi or Asami?_ ” Pubert asked.

“ _Akihito calls me Asami._ ”

“ _Then we shall too._ ” Gomez agreed, “Ahhhh, Cara Mia~!” Asami turned his head to note Mortitia had entered the room, Yoru following behind her with a victorious smile.

Akihito followed tentatively behind, and Asami was so struck by the sight of him he forgot to hide the pipe in his hand.

He was dressed in all black like his family, a cute ruffle down his front and around his wrists. He looked like a modern gothic pirate, dressed in tight pants and Doc Martin boots.

He gave Asami a tight lipped look, strolling over and smacking him on the shoulder as he sat on the chair arm and yanked the pipe out of his hand.

“ _Dad, don’t give Asami anything he can smoke! He’s quitting._ I’ll let you off this time because it’s not tobacco.”

“ _Ahhhh I see, my sincerest apologies._ ” His father replied as he took his wife’s hand and kissed it softly.

Asami watched wide eyed as Akihito took a sneaky drag of the pipe before passing it to his mother. _The_ _little shit_.

“ _Akihito, my dear, why don’t you show Asami to your room and settle in before tonight?_ ” Yoru suggested.

“ _Who says we’re sharing a room?_ ” Akihito defended, all five giving him an amused look. “ _Fine_.” He relented, standing and waiting for Asami to follow. The Yakuza tipped his head respectfully to Akihito’s kin before leaving the room.

The blond lead him up the stairs, his eyes glued to Akihito’s backside the entire time. The tight pants he was wearing gripped his skin like latex, he could even see the line of the boxers he was currently thinking about ripping off. It was a wonderful view.

“Your family seem extremely accepting.” He commented, watching the other bounce up the last few steps.

“They’re excited to see me with anyone, especially someone who fits in even better than I do.” He replied, trailing past candelabra’s and multiple painted portraits. They all looked... strange and different, but none had blond hair.

“I thought you said you were a natural blond?”

“I am!”

“...How exactly?” Akihito thought about it a moment.

“Magic?” He shrugged and continued on, unbothered. Meanwhile Asami was trying to figure out whether Akihito was adopted or his mother had been promiscuous. He didn’t ask the other’s opinion, as he had a feeling he wouldn’t take the suggestion that he was the bastard well.

They entered what he assumed to be the other’s room, finding it surprisingly gloomy. The windows were small, letting little light in, and the closet stood tall and looming. The mid sized bed was covered in several dark blankets, a collection of fluffy plushes at the head. Other than that there weren’t many personal items besides a baseball bat filled with nails. It was like a minimalist kawaii heavy metal band had been in charge of interior decorating.

“Mum found some clothes for you to borrow tonight.” A silk black shirt and pants were set out on the bed, which though appeared fine at first, he realised upon closer inspection had no top buttons. He was going to look like a vampire pimp. “It used to be one of my cousins.”

“You have cousins?”

“Oh yeah, heaps. You’ll meet them all at the party tonight.” _Wonderful_. Akihito must have noted his off expression. “Is that ok? I know this is all really sudden, and I have a really big family, and they’re all pretty... weird.”

“It’s fine.” He’d adapt quickly, he always did, however Akihito didn’t seem convinced as he began to slowly unpack his things with a troubled expression.

As he bent over Asami had the perfect view of his behind, tempting him closer. The blond jolted when the other’s hands slid down his ass.

“Ohhhh no.” He spun around and held a hand up to prevent the other from making another advance. “We are NOT having sex in my ancestral home!”

“Why not?” He was honestly confused, but Akihito only gave him a look of disbelief.

“Because it’s my family’s house! I have never, and will never, have sex under the same roof as my parents, let alone my _grandparents_!”

Asami gave a befuddled look, inching closer and gently touching the other’s face.

“Are you wearing eyeliner?”

“Ugh, my mum put it on me. She said I looked ‘too healthy’.” Akihito’s exasperation was visible on his face.

“Your family is certainly...”

“Weird? Why do you think I avoid them. It’s crazy spending your teens in a house full of witches, the first chance I got I moved back to Japan.” Asami chuckled. “What? Oh, let me guess, you don’t believe in witches?” He chose not to reply. “Well don’t tell them that, and definitely don’t eat or drink anything they give you, ok?” _Well that was unsettling._

“Alright... Do you know when guests will be arriving?”

“Probably after five, so we have a few hours to chill.” He said, already fantasising about taking a nice nap in his old bed with his lover beside him.

“How about we take a shower?” Asami suggested, feeling rather dirty and determined to get Akihito’s clothes off.

“Yeah ok, I could use one,” He sighed, “but we are NOT having sex.” Akihito insisted, leading him off towards the closest bathroom.

Asami smirked to himself. _Sure they wouldn’t._


	4. The Clan

Music and joyous laughter filled the ballroom, the strange crowd filled with toothy, somewhat unsettling smiles.

Asami stood beside Pubert and Yoru, the proud couple introducing him to every birthday guest as Akihito’s partner. Each time was met with delight and congratulations, the stranger’s sometimes embracing him and showering his face with unwelcomed kisses. Akihito had watched and laughed behind his hand the first few times, only shrugging his shoulders when Asami glared at him in hope he would put an end to his torment. He was growing to loath how they all shared Akihito’s lack of personal boundaries, which was an adorable trait for the blond sure enough, but not for an ugly old man with a hump.

No one explained how any of ‘the clan’ were related save for Pubert’s siblings. They seemed to be the only two who weren’t so sure of him, in fact Akihito’s aunt had so far spent the entire evening glaring at him. Wherever he turned there she was in the background, her unrelenting cold eyes locked on him. She was both terrifying and beautiful, reminding him a little of his mother with her loathsome gaze.

Akihito had been dragged off some time ago by his fat little cousins to dance, the two little monsters the offspring of their equally obese parents, Pugsley and Gertrude. Their children, a little boy and girl that could only have been about ten at the most, had to be the most hideous little terrors Asami had the misfortune of meeting. Still, Akihito absolutely adored them, showering his young cousins with gifts from home and affection.

“ _Entrails!?_ ” Akihito’s Great-grandmother shrieked from below him as Lurch offered him a silver platter of disgusting looking starters. He politely declined, the short crone hobbling away. She seemed impossibly old, skin hanging off her bones and teeth rotten. He could definitely see why Akihito thought her a witch, especially since he saw her stirring a cauldron with what he was near certain was a severed arm. Possibly a part of the corpse Akihito’s uncle was currently laughing about butchering. No one even blinked an eye at the horrific tale, shrieking with laughter like harpies at the end. It was all like some kind of twisted dream, strange bodies with growths, missing limbs, extra limbs, and hair from head to toe all dancing together in a haze of smoke.

He silently left his lover’s parents side as they chatted, slipping over to the food table to see if there was anything edible among it. Akihito had told him he prepared a sushi tray, so he lifted each silver lid in search. He quickly gave up his hunt when he instead opened the cover on a severed hand, which promptly jumped up and scuttled away.

He put the drink he had been given down, the hallucination leading him to believe it had been spiked.

Determined to clear his mind he stepped out on the balcony, taking a deep breath of the clean air and watching from afar as his partner twirled around with all the strange children, like the Piper from the tales of Grimm.

It was like watching a freak show, all of them so completely different… and yet Akihito still stood out, like the only sheep in a room full of wolves. 

“A wonderful night, is it not?” He didn’t jolt despite his inner surprise at Yoru having appeared beside him.

“Indeed.” She stood silently for some time, her face as ageless and pale as the moon. She must have had something to say, the both of them staring off at her son.

He lit up the room like their very own sun, brighter than any candles glow.

“Having Akihito here is the greatest gift I could ever have asked for,” she finally said in her native tongue, “I only wish he never had to leave.”

“It is the beautiful birds that we try to cage.” He paraphrased, the woman’s lips twitching upwards and she made a sound of agreeance.

The music shifted into a waltz, though Mortitia and Gomez had been waltzing since the party began, and everyone fell into step. Pubert walked towards them and extended a hand to his wife, bowing respectfully.

“ _My love, might I have this dance?_ ” She smiled and gently placed her hand in his, the two coming together and dancing back into the room, not once letting their intense gazes’ part.

Akihito had begun waltzing with a toddler on his hip, his jealous cousins watching with their fat little cheeks red in anger.

Asami made his way around the twirling crowd to Akihto’s side, gently placing his hand on the boy’s shoulder and giving him a charming smile.

“May I?” He put his hand out for Akihito to take, the blond looking surprised.

“Um… Yeah, one second.” He smiled and passed the bucktoothed child to it’s nearby bucktooth mother before returning to his partner. Felling awkward and blushing slightly Akihito put his hand in Asami’s, sliding the other onto his lover’s shoulder before promptly forgetting how to dance all together. Thankfully Asami had assumed he would be leading and tenderly took hold of his waist, leading him into the mass of freaks.

The children’s glares disappeared behind twirling bodies as they became a part of the circus, the blond failing to hide an awkward grin.

“I hardly ever dance with the adults.” He explained apprehensively, laughing in surprise when they suddenly began to spin, neither stepping out of place. “Where did you learn to dance?” He asked, eyes sparkling with admiration. _Was there nothing this bastard couldn’t do?_

“School” He’d never thought it would actually come in handy, yet here he was putting a skill he hadn’t practiced since high-school to use.

“Must have been a fancy school.” The blond commented, having trouble meeting his eyes.

They’d never been this close in front of his family, or anyone, at least not in such a… romantic fashion. This was what he had been taught love looked like, something he never thought he and Asami would ever do together. In some ways, it felt more intimate than a kiss, or even sex. It felt so strange, the two of them dressed in foreign clothes putting on this façade for his family, and yet it was more real than anything he had ever felt with the other. It was like falling in love, as terrifying and warm as Asami’s golden eyes.

The waltz finished and a softer tune began, Akihito sliding both his arms around his lover’s neck and gently leaning his head against his chest. The Yakuza’a hands both rested on his hips, the two of them pressed together swaying with the music. They spent an age like that, standing in the balcony doorway, Akihito never wanting the moment to end.

Only when Yoru requested a dance with her son did they part, both longingly staring after one another till the blond disappeared in the sea of relatives.

As Asami turned he suddenly found himself face to face with Wednesday Addam’s, the woman’s cold eyes piercing right into his soul. She took his hand and forced him back onto the dancefloor, her grip dangerously still and tight. He returned her cold gaze, dropping the friendly act and becoming just as menacing as she.

“ _I know my nephew, perhaps better than anyone else here. He’s changed. Something about his soul is darker_ ,” she whispered, or rather hissed, “ _tainted_ ,” there was a heavy-laden pause, “ _raped_.”

They both froze after she bit it out, her tongue as sharp as a whip. She leaned closer, her poison breath tickling his ear like a touch from the dead.

_“If I find out it is you who hurt him, I will make you suffer.”_

With that she walked away, disappearing into the crowd. For a moment his ears rang, everything seeming to fall silent as he lost sight of the menacing phantom.

“Hey!” All the noise came flooding back as Akihito suddenly stood beside him, his sunshine grin filling Asami’s cold heart with warmth. “What’s wrong?” The noirette forced a small smile.

“Nothing.”

“Come on, it’s time for the _Mamushka_!” The what now?

Akihito lead him to the side as the music stopped and Gomez began to make a speech, the crowd making a space for Pubert and Pugsley to perform a little dance. As they did, the routine more than impressive and even death defying at times, Akihito passed him ‘safe’ food and drink to enjoy, sometimes even feeding him by hand. Who would have enjoyed it far more if not for the threat laying on his mind, his eyes peeled for Akihito’s Aunt. She had been everywhere he looked all night, but now she was gone he found her absence was even more concerning than her presence.

After the Mamushka they were able to dance again, and this time he glared at whoever approached to part them until they retreated, successfully keeping the boy to himself for the rest of the night.

By one a.m. everyone began to leave, a few chosen clan members such as Pugsley, his family, Wednesday, Fester, and his wife Dementia staying overnight.

Asami and Akihito returned to the blonde’s room, the boy still high from the night’s events. He giggled drunkenly as he struggled to strip, falling back into bed blissfully exhausted as his lover crawled on top of him and peppered him with lazy kisses. The younger hummed contently at the attention, helping them both remove their clothes slowly.

Asami was lavishly trailing his lips up his lover’s nape despite his fatigue, having not slept since the flight yesterday.

“We ‘r not having sex in my parents’ house... again.” Akihito slurred, Asami smiling to himself as he recalled pushing the other against the shower wall earlier that day. “I don’t care how damn much they encourage it.”

“Fine.” He was too tired to argue, the two messily crawling under the covers and flopping together in a heap of limbs, their naked bodies pressed close.

It still all seemed like some bizarre dream.

“You were right, they are all... odd.”

“You have no idea.” Akihito mumbled, already half asleep with his head on Asami’s chest. “When I was seven and we were visiting m’ grandparents back when the house was back in America, I found their sex dungeon.” Asami chuckled, not at all surprised his grandparents were the sex dungeon type.

“That must have been traumatic.”

“Hell yeah.”

“How did they move the house?” He asked tiredly, the two yawning one after the other.

“Urr, on a ship in pieces, then they put it all back together here.”

“What about the cemetery?”

“That was easy, they just dug up the coffins and headstones.” He gave a little laugh. “It was actually pretty funny cause they got all mixed up so they had to open all the boxes and figure out who was who by their clothes.” Asami furrowed his brows.

“Weird.”

“Yeah...” They both sighed, their breathing having already fallen into sync. “I’m glad though. I mean, if they weren’t weird they probably wouldn’t be as cool as they are with us. They don’t look at gender or sexuality the same way as most people do, so I knew I’d never have to come out or anything.” The blond slurred.

“Then how come you had such a big problem with it?” Akihito scoffed at the question.

“I had a problem with being forced into sex, especially by a guy since I’m not gay.”

“Mmm, then what are you?”

“I don’t know, moron-sexual. Bastard-romantic.” Asami chuckled, the blond sliding up his body to share one more lazy kiss before they both fell fast asleep.


	5. Sir Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc

“ _En-garde, pret, allez!_ ” Sabre’s clashed together, Asami narrowly dodging a touch as Pubert surged forward. “ _Parry again! Now thrust!_ ” He instructed, a manic grin on his face.

“ _Ha ha! Excellent form!”_ Gomez cried from where he sat, his eldest son beside him. The men had taken it upon themselves to teach Asami to fence, something they considered an essential skill for anyone who wished to ‘court’ Akihito. So far it had gone well, the Yakuza having suffered only a few small cuts. It seemed the family believed in learning through doing, which made him grateful for his previous experience with a katana or he may very well have been stabbed to death by now.

“ _Lung! Parry!_ ” He’d learnt to ignore Pubert’s words, as he often gave false instructions in order to land a hit. ‘Playing fair’ did not seem to be something any of them were concerned with in this little trial to prove whether he was worthy of bedding their kin.

“ _Parry-ripost! Now disengage, and defend!_ ” By now they were both panting rather heavily, sweat dripping from their brows.

The terrain wasn’t exactly fit for the sport, but Pubert knew it well, jumping up onto his study desk as Asami backed him into it.

He flipped over Asami, landing on his feet behind him as the Yakuza spun around.

They both froze, Pubert’s sabre to Asami’s throat and Asami’s to his chest.

“ _Arrêt!_ ” Gomez finally called, he and Pugsly standing to their feet and clapping as the two men lowered their swords.

“ _Wonderful, I dare say you have a knack my boy!_ ” Pubert congratulated, shaking the other’s hand.

“ _Thank you.”_ He nodded, putting down the weapon and removing his shirt over his head. Asami took a mouthful of his drink and sat, still catching his breath.

Not since his and Akihito’s shower had he gotten so much exercise.

“ _He’s watching you.”_ Gomez commented quietly, gesturing towards the window with his head.

Akihito was out in the cemetery with Fester, playing with the children. As soon as Asami’s eyes turned towards them the blond quickly looked away, his cheeks rather pink.

He looked so out of place among all the death, a beautiful angel draped in black sitting upon a headstone.

“ _If I might be so bold I’d wager you find yourself lucky tonight.”_ Gomez grinned, sending him a wink as he smoked from a cigar.  

“ _If I may be so bold, I hope you’re right.” Akihito’s grandfather_ laughed jovially and offered his tumbler up, Asami meeting it.

“ _Ovaţii_!”

Pubert came and sat in his own chair, the four relaxing as they watched the other’s play hide and seek through the glass panes.

 _“Such a blessing, children_.” Pubert hummed, his older brother giving a scoff.

“ _Poor Fester and Dementia are still trying_.” Gomez sighed, looking truely forlorn at his brother’s misfortune.

“ _I don’t wish to offend,” Asami began, grabbing their attention, “but might I ask is Akihito… adopted?”_

“ _No offence taken, my boy! You are not the first to ask, but I can assure you his blood is that of mine and Yoru’s, not that it would make him any less our son if he were not, you understand_.” Pubert explained.

 _“Of course_.”

“ _I’m afraid Akihito’s… physical obscurities, have a far darker origin_.” Gomez’s tone had turned heavy. “ _He was once just like the rest of us, dark hair, sullen skin… before the curse._ ”

The Addam’s all looked ruefully morose as he spoke.

“ _The loss of a loved one can cause such deep trauma that one’s entire persona is flipped on it’s head. The same happened to me when he was a baby, when uncle Fester was seduced by a murderess_.”

“ _Ahhh he did love her_.” Gomez smiled.

“ _Thankfully the effects reversed with his return, but in Akihito’s case it was Yoru’s parents.”_

“ _God rest their souls_.” The eldest commented respectfully.

“ _But we still love Akihito, despite the curse_.” Pubert assured, his brother and father nodding in agreement.

Asami too nodded his head slowly. No wonder Akihito believed in witches, the entire family was incredibly superstitious. It made him wonder still... Had there been an accidental exchange of child? Had the real baby died and been replaced, the family so mad they believed this ludicrous excuse? And how on Earth had Pubert gone through the same?

His mobile buzzed from his pocket, distracting him momentarily. Kirishima had finally messaged.

 

-Supplies are on their way

business is fine

location is secret

jet purchased and waiting at airport, txt when you need pilot-

 

Asami replied with a single dot, their code to assure one another that their message was received and everything was fine.

When he looked back up towards the window he noted Akihito’s mother had appeared wearing a ebony cloak and was speaking with her son. He couldn’t read their lips well but it seemed she wanted to speak, and so the two walked off together down the cemetery path.

His entertainment gone he politely excused himself and retrieved his shirt from the floor, intent on going upstairs and taking a shower.

 

§

 

By the time he made it out of the shower and back to Akihito’s room the younger man had already returned from his walk, violently shoving all his belongings into his suitcase.

“Should I ask?” Asami questioned as he entered, the angry blond not even turning to acknowledge his presence he was in such a tiff.

“My family is insane! Do you know what our family motto is? _Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc-_ We gladly feast on those who would subdue us. They’re fucking cannibals!” He jammed more of his clothes in the already overfilled luggage. “I can’t prove it but I’m pretty damn certain!”

Now he was curious. What had Yoru done, try make him eat someone? He sat beside his lover’s suitcase, silently letting him vent.

“Every time I come back mum tries to convince me to stay and ‘embrace my calling’!” Ahh, so she had tried to guilt him into staying. He wasn’t surprised after the brief interaction they had exchanged on the balcony the night before. “She offered me a fancy car and everything! I mean how manipulative is that?”

“The horror.” He sarcastically agreed.

“I’m serious Asami, every time I come over it’s all great and then suddenly they’re trying to convince me the things they do are fine and I should be doing them too!”

“What things?” Akihito seemed to bite his tongue and consider his answer.

“Illegal things!” He finally summed up.

“I see.” The boy’s anger seemed to fizzle out as he sighed, slumping where he stood before collapsing beside the other.

“I can’t wait to go home, you get along with them way too much.” He grumbled, leaning against the Yakuza.

“Not true. The children are awful and your Aunt hates me.”

“They’re not awful! They’re just… Mislead.” He defended. “Oh, by the way don’t go near _Boy_ he says he wants to kill you and I saw him hide a knife in his pants at breakfast.” Asami’s brow furrowed at the unusual name.

“ _Boy_?”

“Yeah, my cousin, _Boy_.” The blond explained, not seeing the issue.

“And his sister’s name is?”

“… _Girl_. Uncle Pugsly isn’t very inventive when it comes to names.” Asami chuckled at the madness of it all, standing and kissing his beloved gently on the head.

“I’ll sort the flight, we can leave whenever you want.” He promised, kneeling in front of the other and holding his hands in his. Akihito went pink again, avoiding his eyes. He wasn’t used to this... supportive and romantic side the other was displaying. He must have really wanted to get laid that night.

“Well… I guess I can survive a few more days. You might not though.” He teased, giving the other a cheeky smile.

They shared a gentle kiss, Asami’s hands still gently caressing his.

 “I’ll do my best.”

 

§

 

Asami ate silently as both Wednesday and Boy glared at him, Akihito sitting beside him trying to encourage the children to eat their dinner.

The food was... strange but edible, despite Akihito having assisted his family in preparing it. He promised it wasn’t poisoned at least, and the wine was exquisite.

He and Akihito sat at one end of the long table as honoured guests, Fester and Dementia at the other. Gomez sat beside his brother, his family to his left, and Yoru sat with her husband to Asami’s right. Boy and Girl sat to Akihito’s left, the children having fought tooth and nail to be beside their cousin.

There came a dinging as Gomez stood, tapping his knife against his wine glass.

“ _I would like to give a toast!_ ” He began, holding out his cup. “ _To the newest addition to our family!_ ” He gestured towards Asami, his grandson turning bright red.

“ _Grandpa were not married, chill!_ ” The blond hissed across the table.

“ _Marriage is but a question of time between lovers and wine a magnificent catalyst_.” The man grinned, Akihito pushing his glass out of reach. “ _To love!_ ”

“ _To love!_ ” The family chorused, Akihito’s beetroot face in his hands. _They hadn’t even used the ‘L word’ with each other and his family was already throwing it around!_

Conversation continued as the blond attempted to sink into the floor, Asami smirking teasingly at his discomfort.

“ _You must visit at Christmas._ ” Yoru told the Yakuza.

“ _And Akihito’s birthday! We’ll throw a fabulous soiree!_ ” Pubert announced, the family all making sounds of excitement and beginning to start celebratory plans. Akihito sat unhappily poking his food, lightening up ever so slightly when Asami gently squeezed his knee under the table.

“ _So what will you be naming your first?_ ” Gertrude asked, having just slapped Girl on the wrist for missing her brother’s hand when she went to stab it.

“ _First?_ ” Asami inquired politely.

“ _Child of course!_ ” The Yakuza straight up started choking on his food, Akihito jumping up and firmly patting his back.

“ _We haven’t discussed it_.” Akihito quickly deflected while his lover recovered.

“ _Well then, you’ll have plenty to talk about between rounds tonight._ ”

“ _Grandma!_ ” The blond cried out in mortification at Mortitia’s words, jumping to cover his cousins ears as he pressed their heads together against his stomach. The family laughed at his innocence, returning to their meals and discussions.

“I’m sure if we said we were going to have sex they’d let us leave.” Asami suggested as the blond sat back down looking traumatised.

“No!” He hissed.

“ _So will you be adopting or employing a Surrogate?_ ” Dementia asked them innocently.

“ _I’m sure one of your many ex-partners would be willing to bare your child._ ” Pubert offered up.

“ _Ok we better go upstairs! Bye!_ ” He grabbed Asami’s hand and promptly dragged him out of the room, Gomez sighing a blissful ‘ _Ahhh young love’_ as they disappeared.

When they arrived in the blonde’s room Akihito let go of his hand and collapses on the bed, rubbing his face in frustration.

“That was an absolute disaster.” He groaned, Asami coming to sit beside him. A moment of silence passed before the older spoke.

“... So, ‘many ex-partners’ huh?” A horrified expression crossed the other’s face before he smiled nervously.

“There, really aren’t that many. They’re exaggerating! It’s probably like, half as many as you.” Asami nodded slowly.

“...You must have ended on good terms, if your father thinks they’d be willing to have your child.”

“I-I mean none of them ended badly, I still consider them all friends.” _Of course_ , they could have cheated on him and Akihito would probably let them cry about their new boyfriend on his shoulder.

“...Your family seem pretty sure you’ll have children in your future.”

“Well, I-I mean I always thought I’d have kids.” His face fell, eyes darkening a little, and Asami instantly regretting his comment. “But- this is not a conversation we are having!”

“... So, looks like we’re here for Christmas.” Akihito’s mouth gapes a moment, noting the sparkle in the other’s eye. He was _teasing_ him. His gaze hardened.

“You’re gonna keep asking annoying questions until I put out, aren’t you?”

“Well what do you know, you’re smarter than you look.” The Yakuza smirked, watching Akihito’s eyes roll.

“Asshole.” He grumbled, getting up and crawling into the noirette’s lap for a sultry kiss.

At this point, if it shut the man up, he was more than happy to violate his ‘no sex in my ancestral home’ rule.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ovaţii- cheers


	6. Loves Poison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Enjoy!

Akihito trudged back to his bedroom, having spent the entire morning trying to convince his cousin’s not to behead their toys. His efforts had been both exhausting and futile, and he was looking forward to screaming into his pillow.

He hesitated in front of the closed door of his room, noting unusual gag like sounds coming from the the other side.

“Asami?” He entered cautiously, immediately finding his lover on his knees leant over a puddle of his own vomit. “Asami!” Akihito ran to his side, crouching beside the other and pressing his hand to his forehead. The blonde’s brows furrowed. He had no temperature, but his eyes were vacant, blood on both his lips and the floor. Akihito noted the strange smell and off colour of his bile, mumbling to himself in confusion.

“Ricin?” Hurrying into action he helped the other stand, leading the zombie like man out of the room. “Follow me.” He encouraged gently, pulling him along as fast as the Yakuza could stumble.

He took him down below to a room full of strange vials and bottled poisons, Morticia standing in the darkness over a steaming cauldron. The light of the fire struck her eyes as she looked up from her concoction with concern.

“ _My dearest, whatever is the matter?_ ”

“ _He’s been poisoned! I think it’s ricin._ ” Asami pushed his weak body from his lover’s arms and heaved violently into the closest bowl filled with finger bones.

Mortitia floated towards them, pulling the bowl away and observing the vomitus.

“ _I agree. Fetch me the helichrysum arenarum._ ” Akihito nodded and helped Asami sit in the closest chair before running about frantically, collecting up all the ingredients his grandmother required. He continuously checked on Asami whilst helping her put the antidote together, encouraging him to stay awake and assuring him he would be ok.

The blond was in a state of panic, practically vibrating with worry. He cringed every time Asami heaved or groaned, coming over to whisper comforting words and rub his back before Mortitia would call him back to the antidote.

When it was finally done, still steaming as Akihito transferred it from cauldron to cup, the blond rushed back to his side, blowing the vapour away as much as he could before pressing the vessel to his lover’s lips.

Asami felt the difference the moment it slid down his throat, despite the liquids awful taste and boiling temperature. Maybe they were magic, he mused as his lover’s face un-blurred. The angel looked as though he had just been flooded with relief, watching as his partner’s eyes came into focus and slowly regained their sharp vibrance.

“Are you alright?” He nodded, not quite ready to speak as his throat was still raw. “What happened, did somebody do this?” He didn’t say, but that seemed to be reply enough. Akihito frowned and helped him stand, putting Asami’s arm around his shoulders. “ _I’m going to get him to bed._ ” He explained, helping the other back out and up to his room.

The trip back was far slower, Akihito’s expression both harsh with anger and soft with concern. He must have been deep in thought, leading the other to his bed and helping him lay down.

“Don’t worry, it will probably take a day or two for your body to get rid of all the poison properly but most of it should be gone in the next few hours. You’re gonna need to rest and go to the bathroom a lot though to get it out. Here.” He pressed a cup of water to his lips, the cool liquid washing down his throat leaving him in both discomfort and bliss. “Try drink as much as you can.” The blond encouraged softly as he put the cup back down, noting his pained expression.

He caressed his lover’s pale face gently, his face scrunched up with worry. Asami reached out weakly and brushed his finger’s down Akihito’s visage, smoothing out all the worry lines he could find.

“Don’t worry, we’re getting out of here before they kill you.” The blond whispered, kissing his hand before standing and beginning to gather up what he had not already packed the night before.

After several visits to the bathroom, about an hour of on and off unconsciousness, and a litre of water, the taxi Akihito had ordered arrived to take them to the airport. He made sure Asami was well enough for the trip before leading him downstairs, the older man still groggy but able to walk on his own, leaving Akihito to carry their bags.

“ _Akihito? Where are you going?_ ” Akihito’s mother spotted them on the stairway, but he ignored her, continuing straight towards the front door.

“ _Akihito?_ ” His twin cousins called as he passed, holding their headless dolls close.

“ _We’re leaving._ ” He finally admitted as he forced open the front door. All three’s faces turned to despair.

“ _Why!?_ ” The children cried, their eyes filling with tears. Asami stumbled after the other as he made his way down the entrance steps to the taxi, opening the door for him.

“ _Darling, please reconsider, I’m sure it was all merely an accident._ ” Mortitia implored, having appeared beside his confused mother. By now most of the family had gathered at the open front door, assembled by the children’s wails.

 “ _People don’t accidentally ingest ricin._ ” Akihito bit as he slammed the door shut behind Asami, “ _and when I find out which one of you poisoned him I-_ ” He struggled to think as he lugged their baggage into the boot. “ _I’ll… well I certainly won’t be sending you another Christmas card ever again, that’s for sure!_ ” He slammed the boot down and stormed into the taxi beside Asami, firmly shutting his own door behind him.  

His baffled family all stood sadly waving goodbye as they drove away, the children screaming so loud that they could hear them even past the gate. Looking in the rear-view-mirror Asami could see they had trued to run after the vehicle, collapsing in snotty tears when they couldn’t catch up.

Akihito cringed at the sound of his cousins’ sadness, his desperation to comfort them battling with his need to protect Asami.

Thankfully the driver didn’t ask questions, even as the blond fussed over the sickly older man, the noirette still not quite all there. His eyes began to slip shut, Akihito gently lowering the man’s head into his lap and running his fingers through his hair.

It wasn’t long till he passed back out.

 

§

 

When he awoke they had arrived at the hotel, Akihito gently shaking his shoulder to rouse him.

“We’re here.” He whispered. “Want me to see if they have a wheelchair for you, old man?” He teased, despite being obviously still troubled by the attempt on his lover’s life.

“Ha ha.” Asami grumbled as he sat up and allowed the other to help him out of his seat.

Akihito paid the taxi driver and a bellboy took their luggage, leading them up to their room. It seemed Akihito had asked Kirishima to arrange their accommodation, so they thankfully didn’t have to suffer a crappy hotel.

He made Asami lay back down the moment they entered their room, thanking the bellboy for bringing their things. Once the stranger had left Akihito sat down beside him on the bed, an inscrutable expression on his face as he caressed Asami’s hand.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, the Yakuza smiling at his lover’s protective nature. He really would make a wonderful parent.

“Better.” He assured.

“Are you going to tell me who did it?” The blond asked, Asami only shrugging to feign ignorance. “Well did anyone give you anything to eat or drink?” He shook his head, annoyingly tight lipped on the subject. “Come on Asami.” Akihito begged.

“It’s not important.”

“Of course it is! Who poisoned you and why are you hiding it from me!?” Asami sighed, considering his reply.

“It was punishment.” He explained.

“For what!?”

“Raping you.” Akihito’s face paled, his eyes wide.

“But… how did they find out?” He whispered, no longer meeting his gaze.

“I’m not sure.” Silence followed, Akihito looking torn. “She was only trying to protect you.” Asami assured, the blonde’s expression falling even further.

“It was Aunty Wednesday.” He whispered dejectedly. Asami could practically hear his heart break at the knowledge his favourite family member not only knew his darkest secret but had tried to murder his partner for his part in it.

“We have to get out of here,” he finally said at full volume, “and we need to move house, and we need to-“

“Calm down Akihito-“

“You don’t understand! If she has proof my family _will not_ forgive you. They will hunt you down and nothing will stop them! And even if she doesn’t have proof, she _will_ try killing you again.”

“I’ll add her to the list.” Asami joked lightheartedly, but Akihito didn’t look amused. “Don’t worry, I’ll call Kirishima and have him arrange a flight for today.” The blond nodded, still fidgeting nervously, his gaze flickering every now and then to the window and the locked door.

Asami opened his arm and the other gladly tucked himself against him, holding the Yakuza close.

“I’m so sorry about all this.” He mumbled against his chest.

“I don’t blame you for any of it. My own mistakes lead to this.” The photographer didn’t seem convinced, Asami leaning down and kissing his lover’s head. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Akihito asked curiously, gazing up at him with those adorable big eyes.

“Saving my life.”

“Yeah, right after endangering it!” He sighed. “I never should have invited you... Why’d you have to smoke that damn cigarette?” He grumbled, Asami chuckling at his pout.

“See, all my fault.” The noirette assured, a small huff of a laugh expelled against his chest.

“...I can’t believe I was so terrified of losing you, you big idiot.” The blond mused aloud, holding the acclaimed ‘big idiot’ tight as he could.

Asami smiled and kissed him again, deciding to text Kirishima in order to not break the peaceful moment.

He was looking forward to having Akihito cling to him for the entire flight.

 

§

 

They arrived in Japan the next day, both extremely content and well fucked after the amorous flight.

Kirishima met them on the tarp with the limo, noting the two’s blissed out expressions and Akihito’s slight limp.

“I’m glad to see you well and rested, Asami-sama.” He greeted.

“Oh yeah, totally not like he almost died yesterday or anything.” Akihito sassed, opening the door for the still weak Yakuza.  

“We’ll it wouldn’t be a family reunion if someone didn’t try killing him.” Kirishima commented, Asami chuckling lightly as he ducked into the vehicle.

“Wait what? Asami what does he mean?” Akihito asked, the door shutting behind him. “Asami what does he mean!?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who keep asking part 7 in this series (coming soon) will explain the situation between Asami and his family :)


End file.
